There's a way,
In this vain world,
For ugly guys,
To get a woman.
Come my way,
I'm a fat bird,
You must believe,
I'm more desperate than you.
I'll be your girlfriend,
Yours to wine and dine,
I'll be your big balloon,
Inflating all the time.
I'll be the fat bird,
That you cannot lose
I'm always here - can't move.
Ten times a day,
You must feed me,
Or my mammoth boobs,
Will slowly go missing.
Then, to pay
I will give you,
A ride on me,
A ride for free.
I'll be your pillow
In your bed tonight,
I'll be your trampoline,
When you kill the light.
I'll be the fat bird
Bouncing up and down,
I'm always here - can't move.
And when I lose control,
My face screws up tight
Just beware that I
Might wink...
I’d have been your diva
Back in ninety-eight,
I'd be your number one,
If I'd lost some weight.
But I'm the fat bird
Who will always lose,
I was so near - boo hoo.
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