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Polar Bear

Based on Italy 1958 - Nel blu di pinto di blu

Once in the depths of the sea, on an island of blue,
Deeply enchanted by men, and the things that they do.
Pining for glasses of vino and a fine grilled bonito
And now this charming admirer, this fellow, let’s meet now:

Polar bear, oh ho
Combed white hair, ohohoho
A suit, he’s wearing a suit!
Believing he’s looking so cute
And a lover, a lover, of each new Picasso, and other artístes of repute
While this bear plays piano, he’ll growl in soprano for you
And this musical landscape he says is an ode to Monet

Polar bear, oh ho
Combed white hair, ohohoho
He uses herbal shampoo
And cooks his fish in a stew

But if you saw our dear fellow at the end of the day
When he returns to his family and all of them say:
“My, you look good in a suit, and you’ve read Machiavelli,
But why can’t you act like a bear, and crawl on your belly?”

Polar bear, oh ho
Combed white hair, ohohoho
Writes for the Harvard Review
Each day plays chess with a Jew
In the role of a lover, in a musical drama--he made his smash Broadway debut
At the end of the running, he wrote his own acting review.
Yet his ultimate wish is to dance in the Bolshoi ballet.

Polar bear, oh ho
Combed white hair, ohohoho
He cured the avian flu
Invented the Phillip’s head screw

He dated a starlet or two
He’s even good at kung fu

He trained at Le Cordon Bleu
He thinks he’s better than you! … Yes, you.


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