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Worst Date Ever!

Based on Sweden 2008 - Hero

Had such an awful beginning
Thank God it came to an end
Was my first blind date, and now I'm filled with hate
He won't even be my friend

Came to my house in a tracksuit
He was sweating all over the floor
Asked "Are you ready?"
And I said, "Where to, Freddie?"
He told me to come along

Oh... off to the diner in North Caroliner
Real southern boy
Oh... car smelled like crap, but didn't tell him that, no
I still had hope

Hope that was smothered, should have run for cover
When I answered the door
Oh... now at the end, I can sit back and wonder
How I survived!

He and good taste kept colliding
When he ordered the cheapest red wine
Of... course then he spilled it, all over my jacket
Thought that I was the punchline

He... dabbed at my thigh, grabbed my crotch, must admit I
Wanted to die
Oh... pushed him away and then ran to the bathroom
Screamed out "GOD, WHY?!"

This is a story of bad indigestion
Wasn't only the food
Oh... came out and said "OK, Fred, time to go now"
And he complied (He complied)
Oh... thank God (He complied)

Asked if I'd go with him home
All I could do was shout "HELL NOOOOOO!"

Straight to my house, was no joke, made him bounce there
Blind dates? They suck!
Oh... asked to come in, and I thought 'I need gin now...'
We'll never fuck!
(This is a story of one for the ages)
He took the hint
Oh, shut the door tight after wishing a good night
Fred, please don't call!


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