Sad is the life in old people's homes, waiting for death to come
Senile decay, phooey, phooey, leaves its marks, diapers changed once a day

Cast off your crutches, start to prance
Geriatric dance
Geriatric dance
Cause we're all doomed, doomed

Vodka filled into drip bottles, heart pacemakers, set them free
Speed them up, open the throttle, sway your artificial knee
Morphine makes you feel like heaven, even if you're bound for hell
Act like at the age of seven, pump up every cell

Until the dawn, dawn, dawn, we will not break for a pee
We rinse the lawn, lawn, lawn, we're not ashamed

Jump off your walkers, start to prance
Geriatric dance
Geriatric dance
Come on and…
Don't mind the talkers, go on, prance
Geriatric dance
Geriatric dance
Cause we're all doomed, doomed

Some of us might lose their choppers, but what have we got to lose?
Others sniffed the nurse's poppers, cough drops flow, oh what a booze!
Alzheimer is long forgotten, so is old-age pension's blues
Who said our bones were rotten hasn't got a clue!

Until the dawn, dawn, dawn, we will not break for a pee
We rinse the lawn, lawn, lawn, we're not ashamed!

Smash up your pillbox, start to prance
Geriatric dance
Geriatric dance
Come on and …
Tear your support socks, go on, prance
Geriatric dance
Geriatric dance
Cause we're all doomed, doomed

"Gotcha …"
"Hey girl, who is this?"
"Now, guess who?"
"I've never, ever seen this guy before!"
"Me neither!"
"She called him Humpy!"
"Ahahahahahahahahaha!!!"
"He said he's a big showstar!"
"Ya ha ha ha!"
"Looks more like a mummy to me!"
"That's wicked!"
"She's got such an ill tongue"
"Still got one?"

Tie up the nurses, start to prance
Geriatric dance
Geriatric dance
Come on and …
Bust up the hearses, go on, prance
Geriatric dance
Geriatric dance
Cause we're all doomed, doomed, doomed, doomed
Dance!

"Now look at this guy called the Hump, he's doing a pirouette!"
"Oh my goodness, he won't stop swirling…"
"Ooooooops!!!!"
"Har har har har har!"