12) The Milkmaid's Revenge Song

Based on Macedonia 2012 - Crno i belo

I am just a simple maid,
My employment: milking cows
In a modest dairy house
Though I live alone, I'd never moan

For all my cows are close to me
You could say they're family
Though my life is rather plain,
Without the herd I'd simply go insane.

Then, one night at milking time
The most horrific crime!

My finest Frisian, Daisy!
Lying in a pool of blood, beheaded!
All of her limbs broken
Her eyes were gouged out! Her organs shredded!

I'd had such hopes for Daisy
In every livestock show she'd be the winner
But then she cruelly was slain
By such a monster! A wretched sinner!

So my thoughts turned to revenge.
Daisy's death I will avenge.
For the crime of bovicide
The culprit will receive injuries.

Oh, I swear that justice will be done.
Once I find the evil one
I will tear him limb from limb,
Make him regret this most atrocious sin.

I'll devise an cunning plan, and kill this wicked man!

I'll kill him with karate!
Or use voodoo or decapitation.
Maybe a poisoned dart.
Unleash a deadly cast of crustaceans!

Then I received a tip-off
The culprit: Zlatko from a rival dairy.
And so I left at midnight
And swore, by dawn Zlatko would be buried!


So my revenge was taken,
Zlatko's murder serving as a warning:
This is the gruesome fate
That you will meet should you cross a milkmaid.

And what became of Daisy?
Her meats became fine produce at the deli.
And though I feel so empty,
I must admit she was rather tasty.

Thus brings an end to this tale.