Years ago, when I was hotter
I had my share of love and sex
Now since I'm not getting younger
I must take all I can get

I'm involved with a married man
Even though it's wrong
I don't care if it ruins my life
I just need his schlong!

Every day I'm getting anxious
Every night I hope he'll call,
Email, text, or social network
I'm pathetic, yes I know

I don't know what I am doing
Clearly I have gone insane
Deep inside I now it's stupid
I must find myself a brand new man

I'm involved with a married man
Even though it's wrong
I don't care if it ruins my life
I just need his schlong!

He's a married man, yeah
Even though it's wrong
I don't care if it ruins my life
I just need his schlong!