(7) Please Pass the Knife!
Based on Iceland 2008


Please pass the knife!

I have a job that gets me cryin'
All I do is wash and spray
Cleaning vaginas is what has driven
Me to scream at the skies
That's it! I'm hurting my eyes!

Please pass the knife!
The smell makes my nose sting
Please pass the knife!
Scrubbing all day, haunting my dreams

Washing with tears
Crud, wet and smears
This ain't for queers
One time she sprayed me with pee
Living in strife!
I'm on my knees 'til three

Maybe if I describe what it looks like
You'll see the reasons I want to die
It looks like old cake and strips of steak
Melted gruyere,
Piece of jiggly flan
About to heave!!

Please pass the knife!
I've had dreams of falling in
Please pass the knife!
I feel faint every time it winks

Sometimes it queefs
It squirms and it squeaks
Noises I never, ever, ever want to hear
Please pass the knife!
To end this agony

I give you my plea
It looks like squished brie
I think you should
Give me that knife
So I can finally die today

Please pass the knife!
I don't wanna wait 'til spring
Please end my strife!
I won't blame
If you do the killing

Just so I'm clear
I have a great fear
Of her front and her rear
It's all so very beastly
No more of this strife!
It's just too oozy