Based on France 2009

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I’ve got no pubic hair, my boyfriend shaved it all
Didn’t know, to be fair, as I wore a blindfold
I was so in the zone, I didn’t realize
Just how far he had gone, imagine my surprise

And now the moment’s passed, confronted with the hurt
Of chilly winter air that blows under my skirt
Didn’t know you could get little goose bumps down there
Wonder if L’Oréal has specialized skin care

I’ve got no pubic hair, I am completely bare
Wanted a lightning bolt, or just a simple square
I’m so lost and so blue, I really hate the view
Although meticulous, it looks ridiculous

How long it takes to grow, I really wouldn’t know
Cause I am French, you see – we let it all grow free
Pubic hair long as floss, made me feel like a boss
Should I go for plan B, and wear a pussy wig?

Listen to my ennui! It’s quite the tragedy!
Got teenage labia, but I am cinquantetrois!
I wish I could undo what he did to my coo
Left me all in despair! Mon dieu how did he dare…

Want back my pubic hair…