A Star-struck Odd Børre Struggles to Overcome a Resurgence of His Childhood Speech Impediment

Based on Stress (Norway 1968)

Mu-mu-mu-mu-mu-must I perform now
A-a-a-a-after such a big star?
Wha-wha-wha-wha-what should I say to him?
“You’-you’-you’-you’-you’-you’-you’re Cliff Richard!”
“Con-con-con-con-con-congratulations!”
“Sur-sur-sur-sur-sure nailed it out there!”

Lord! Got to calm down, but how do I start?
Tunes on the radio, shoes bought on Savile Row…

He-he-he-he-he-he-here he comes now
Wea-wea-wea-wea-wearing stylish threads and
M-m-m-m-me: specs and boring hair

Meh! He’s gone – didn’t say a word, not that I could have said a thing
Tongue-tied, couldn’t say a word, it’s like the song I was slated to sing*

[Later]

Well, that could have gone a whole lot better
If I’d stopped and pulled myself together
Fu-fu-fu-fu-fu-fumbled the whole song!
Tha-tha-that Cliff Richard made me stammer
Ha-ha-haven’t done that since… forever
Whe-whe-whe-whe-where did it all go wrong?

[Later still]

Ooh… that French chanson! Ooh… that la-la song!
Poor Cliff’ll need a drink! Bah! Won’t know what to think

Ohoo! Ohoo! Cliff, you got a high score!
Bu-bu-bu-but still you ended second
Guess I’d better go talk to Massiel

*Jag har aldri vært så glad i no’en som deg
(‘I have never loved anyone as much as you’)