Based on All Kinds of Everything, Ireland 1970

Condoms and living wills, HPV vaccines
She-popes, delicious Lents, Sex Ed for teens
Getting well with stem cells, epidurals too
All kinds of deadly sins good Catholics eschew

Prenups and chats with snakes are not alright
Books by Jo Rowlin’? Set them alight
Well-earnt pride, fœticide, films that are blue
All kinds of deadly sins good Catholics eschew

Leave no child unbaptised
God’ll smite ‘em too
One gay, two gays, every gay
All of them doomed

Dances, romances, gilded bovines
White lies and horoscopes, choking on Christ
Friday meat, Sunday sleep, a long-vacant womb
All kinds of deadly sins good Catholics eschew

Open minds, women’s rights
Richard Dawkins too
Reason can’t penetrate
My magic-based worldview

Gambling, nude rambling, outing priests’ crimes
Fun times on holy days, scrimping on tithes
Smoking weed, spilling seed at home or back pew
All kinds of deadly sins good Catholics eschew

All kinds of deadly sins
Good Catholics all do