Mad Cow Disease

Based on Denmark 1978

– Now let me tell you ‘bout what happened to me yesterday
– I think I might have guessed it, but please tell me anyway
– So lately I’ve been feeling… quite funny and unwell
– Yes I have meant to tell you, you look like you need a shave

– So I went to the doctor to find out what was wrong
– That seems like the right thing to do, did he give you a shot?
– I got undressed, he poked around, and guess just what he said?
– Just tell me now, get to the point, I haven’t got all day

“I can’t find your kidneys
Heart rate’s through the roof
Near your stomach there’s another three
And I think your feet are slowly turning into hooves
There is no more doubt, you’ve got the Mad Cow Disease”

And I said “Moo! Moo!”
I stared back at him
And sat down for a second
To ruminate
And I said “Moo! Moo!”
And then I ate his hat
And over by the cabinets I shat

– Now it makes sense why you’ve been peeing milk for quite some time
– It’s really not that bad, my wife is lactose tolerant
– Ew! Back to what the doctor did… so what else did he say?
– He asked me if I’d like a snack, I yelled: “More hay! More hay!”

“There’s no medication
You’ll learn how to cope
I would recommend you give up beef
And your feet have totally morphed into cloven hooves
There is no more doubt, you’ve got the Mad Cow Disease”

And I said “Moo! Moo!”
I moo’d back at him
While list’ning to his nonsense
I whipped my tail
And I said “Moo! Moo!”
And then I licked his face
Then chewed on food I swallowed yesterday

And I said “Moo! Moo!”
I moo moo’d at him
I asked “is it contagious?”
And he said “yes”
So I said “Moo! Moo!”
And sneezed right in his face
Then went outside to find a spot to graze

And he said “Moo! Moo!”
And then he ate my hat
He canceled all appointments, then he shat