So the mission was clear:
A score just like last year
Cue a has-been writer, faded and old
Seeking musical gold
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! \o/

Then a search to locate
A little stunner like Goddess Jade
And an Essex crooner laid out his claim
To win the contest, his aim
Faaaaaab! \o/

Then the shame and deep disgrace
80s pop so out of place
Big nose
Shit clothes
Poor Josh Dubovie!

Second remix, then a third
Polishing a steaming turd
Gelled hair
No flair
Poor Josh Dubovie!

Volcano chaos
Ferry tickets procured
Now with time aplenty to find a routine
To look inviting on screen
So:

Start the song sat in a cell
Boxes nicked from Ani L
Duff notes
Ten votes
Poor Josh Dubovie!

Dancers camp as pinkish tents
Lacking in self-confidence
Thin voice
Shrill noise:
Aiiiiiiiiiii!

Too bad, but that don’t sound good to me