3) Critical Lyrical Ladies

Based on: Germany 1994 - Wir geben 'ne Party



Ooh... We’re the Lyric Ladies
Send us your efforts…
Note, we are really quite strict…

I hate the entry: “Hairy Bitch with B.O.”
Which scoundrel dissed my buddy Lisa del Bo?
That is just nasty
So say the critic ladies

Mmm... “He’s gone to Rehab”, it’s a touch of pure class
But sung to Vodka, it’s one pain in the ass!
Show us more lyrics…
For we’ve a prize to hand out

For the greatest, take it, give it our douze
Super dooper…you’re a winner: then hold us tight
We’ll snog some, drink some: there’s no finer, lewder, night!

But rotten lyrics are the pain in our lives
If it’s awful, we’re so gonna stalk you with knives
For such crassitude, we punch and scream like mad!

We’re readin' your lyrics, we’re singin' your lyrics
When lyrics are lousy, we’re driven to frenzy
So, so, so, so, so…don’t get us pissed off!!!

I’m not so sure of “Loud Ballad Frightens Man”
Mmm... it has got all the charm of Irelande Douze Points!
Let’s spank the writer:
We are the lyric ladies!

I laughed at “Now Hum…FanWank (Screaming in Nude)”
Hang on its grammar’s odd, its spelling is crude
Is that too picky?
No, it’s the ladies’ birthright!

For the worstest, rate it, say it’s all shite
Lyric thumper, lyric beater: our hate is high
Attention, dense one! Here’s what you are missing out:

De-frock me, daily, in the back of your car:
I’m so yummy… For the winner: gonna take you far!
Feel our gratitude…we’ll last long past midnight!

We’re hearin' your lyrics, we’re livin' your lyrics
You want in our Top Ten? Come visit our panties!
One, two, three, four, five...for ‘lyric’ technique
(We’re harlots for lyrics, big lyrics and tiny!)

We’re singin' your lyrics (Oh yeah)
We’re hatin' some lyrics (Oh meh)
We’re rankin' them partly (Oh yeah)
Good lyrics are mighty...
Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! Vote! ... on Ly– Ly– Ly– Ly– Ly– Ly– Lyrics right now
(We’re lovin' A.L.C.)
Get vo– vo– vo– vo– vo– voting!

Scheiß, a gruesome lyric bugger says we’re euro song-tarts
Is it good, though? Or as fun…as smellin' your own farts?!
Geil! Ten rhymings then our whinings…has it got no chance?
Never be forgiving, dear. That one…it’s pants!
Pants, yeah, pants, yeah!
Pants! (Pants!)

Get your daggers out girls…
(Don’t vote for that entry)
(We’re A-A-A-A-A-Angry)
Hell – hell – hell – hell hath… no fury like us!!!!!!!!!!!!!