Enthusiastic Mini-Golfer:
On Sundays, every week, I am devout.
Yes, mini-golf – this I cannot live without.
Around here, people know I’m number one.
Hear ‘em sayin’, “He is … under par!”

Enamoured Mini-Golf Attendant:
For two years to the day I’ve cleaned his balls,
In this back room, I waited for my time to come.
The other staff tell me to get a grip,
“Yes, take his money, but never touch his tip.”

Enthusiastic Mini-Golfer:
Tiny pencil, tiny putter,
There is nothing in the world so small and neat!
Tiny sandtrap, tiny scorecard,
Tiny windmill, cannot keep me from the hole.

Enamoured Mini-Golf Attendant:
Kindly sir, forgive this lowly dame,
Take this pink ball, it is bound to bring you luck.

Enthusiastic Mini-Golfer:
Well I need a ball ‘cause I dropped mine in the pond.
Now move on over, while I go sink this putt.

(to himself):
Shocking concept, shocking plan!
Could this groupie want to buff my slender rod?

(to her):
Shocking woman, shocking thighs!
Tiny windmill—do you think we’ll fit inside?

I will teach you (She will teach me!)
Touch my titty (Starting tee-off!)
This is easy—but, wait, uh, oh, what is that?
Won’t you pinch me? (This is kinky!)
Stroke it gently!
Think I’m close now, so I better tap it in.

...Now it’s over, and I’ve made a hole-in-one...