Where is my tampon?
Where is my tampon?
It was here and now it's gone
And I do wonder where on earth it might be now
Where is my tampon?
Can't find my tampon
And I'm left without a clue
I do believe it must be lost somewhere inside
Or did I lose it without noticing somehow?
I don't know why
Where is my tampon?

Bloody Mary comes to me
A visit every month
And usually it's no big deal
A tampon does the job
But two or three days ago I couldn't get it out
Was left with a broken string here inside my hand

Where is my tampon?
Where is my tampon?
It was here and now it's gone
The string just broke and now I just can't get it out
Can't find my tampon
Can't find my tampon
Is it lost or still inside?
I do believe that I have looked just everywhere
And even though I've searched inside my frontal rear
It won't appear
And I do wonder...

Did it hide inside my womb?
Is it simply gone?
Perhaps it found a better home
Or did it just dissolve?
Did a midget crawl in, stole it in my sleep?
To keep it by his fireplace as a souvenir?

Where is my tampon?
Where is my tampon?
It was here and now it's gone
And I just wonder where on earth it might be now
Can't find my tampon
Can't find my tampon
Did it end up in the loo?
I do believe it must be lost somewhere inside
Or did I lose it without noticing somehow?
I have no clue
Where is my tampon?