25) Monkey Business

Based on: Sweden 1984 - Diggi-loo diggi-ley



Tortoise and brown bear.
Mongoose and wild hare.
Even the dogs and the hens, all dislike you.
Primate... you’re banned from the zoo.

Here’s how it started (You ignorant wanker!)
Pooped on a duck’s head (You shameless monkey spanker!)
And rode around on a flamingo.
Now... we would like you to go.

Monkey scoff, monkey say:
“Screw you all, I will stay!
If you thought that I was bad before,
Then wait until you check your food bowls:
I left a small gift for you.”

Monkey do, monkey see,
Sneak attack from the tree.
He is acting like he owns the zoo.
And why can’t he stick to his cage, huh?
Like other animals do?

Giraffe and vulture.
Fox and the badger.
Cower in fear every day and pray to the Lord
(That no shit lands on their gourd)

Come on you donkeys! (Why must we all suffer…?)
Let’s get that monkey! (…And always run for cover?)
Or we can deal with this later…
When he has conquered the world…

Monkey see, monkey do,
Monkey pelts us with poo.
He has set traps all around the zoo.
He’s cut off all the reindeers’ antlers,
And given the snakes tattoos.

Monkey swing, monkey sway,
Monkey soon you will pay,
All your days of aping us are through.
Pack away your monkey pecker,
And bid your wanking adieu.

Hey look, an animal mob is drawing nearer,
A diabolical plan to stop your terror
Hide, ape scum, but we’ll find you
[Monkey’s anguished screams: OoooooOoooo]

Monkey killed, monkey slayed.
Monkey grilled and sautéed.
Monkey brains inside a monkey stew.
We ladled out some beastly justice
All for the sake of our zoo.

Now who else is making trouble?
Yo llama, we’ll get you too.