Objects roam here at the old folks' home
My Billy lost his comb, my wig is missing
Where'd they go? That's what we want to know
Is there some greedy cuss, who really needs Bea's dentures?

Who stole my hair?
Only some tufts are left there
And now I'm feeling quite a breeze
Better off dead
Light shining off my fivehead
Oh, I can't take it when they tease!

Dirty jokes, they've stolen all our smokes
This morning when Val woke, her sheets were missing
Just a prank? Does someone need a spank?
And now ol' Bea's distraught, can't understand her hissing!

Who stole my hair?
Messy strands all that's left there
And everyone can see my fleas
Feeling of dread
How my face just turns all red
Oh, I can't take it when they tease!

Wah wahwah wahwahwah wah wahwah...
Wahwahwah wah wahwah wahwahwah wahwah...
Wah wahwah wahwahwah wah wahwah...
Wahwahwah wah wahwah wahwahwah wahwah...

Now I cry for Trudy's missing pies
For cherry, cream, and lime, those were my favourite flavours

Who stole my hair?
Gummy Bea's such a sore sight
And now poor Val can't sleep a wink
It's just not fair
Someone correct these sad blights
We're not that forgetful.. I think?

 

We're not that forgetful..... I think?