Once a boy was born, with a little thorn

Couldn’t feel the scorn ahead of him

As years went by, he could just cry

Heaved a deep-drawn sad sigh, it felt so grim

When he looked down, he had to frown, what disappointing sight

A tiny thing, a shrunken sting

Tragic cause of such a sad and sorry plight

The smallest dick on earth, in terms of length and girth

An object of wild mirth, it caused a life of dearth

The smallest dick on earth, ain’t no bigger curse

Nothing worse, the smallest dick on earth

The girl he met one day, a real good lay - what would she say?

“You’re a good lay”?

But she just yelled at him in such blunt dismay:

“Why don’t you get banged by some gay?’

The smallest dick on earth, in terms of length and girth

An object of wild mirth, it caused a life of dearth

The smallest dick on earth, ain’t no bigger curse

Nothing worse, the smallest dick on earth

The smallest dick on earth, in terms of length and girth

An object of wild mirth, it caused a life of dearth

The smallest dick on earth, ain’t no bigger curse

Nothing worse, the smallest dick on earth

Sagging noodle shape, balls like wee grapes, see …

He just had enough of pubes that were just fluff

The going got too rough – so better nothing than this

And in tears he chopped it oooooohohoffffffffffffff … Wooooooohooooohoooohoooohooooofff!

The smallest dick on earth, in terms of length and girth

An object of wild mirth, it caused a life of dearth

The smallest dick on earth, ain’t no bigger curse

Nothing worse, the smallest dick on earth

Ohohohoarrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhh!

The smallest dick on earth, ain’t no bigger curse

Nothing worse, the smallest dick on earth