alc09

semi4

19) Croon, Doom And Gloom

(Pete Waterman and Mike Stock's Adventures in Oslo)

Based on: Denmark 1978 - Boom Boom

 


I'm vexed about this contest, Mike; we haven't got a song
Let's look amongst our archives, and I'm sure we can't go wrong
The Brits have picked a nice lad, his name is Dubovie
Well when we get our hands on him, he'll be the new Astley
 
Lightboxes cause a problem, cos Josh is scared of heights
We'll fix that; stick him on them now and turn off all the lights
He's come out in a load of zits, it simply is a sin
We'll stick a monster mask on him; it worked well for the Finns
 
We're all off to Oslo,
It's win or it's bust
Wave your Union Jacks now if you dare
Don't give us your opinion that our great song is crap
Keep it to yourself -
Because we don't fucking care!
 
And so it's Croon, Doom, and Gloom all for us
We'll get away with murder, won't cause a fuss
And we'll say Croon, Doom and Gloom is all to blame
The UK has come last, oh what a shame
 
The papers say we're plagiats, our song they simply hate
They say it's like the Danish song from 1978
We should have gone the Irish way and got that singing duck
'Fraid Orville couldn't save us now - oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!
 
Fanboys analyse us, say we're past our prime
Cruelly do us down behind our backs
We will steal their vodka in a fit of hissy crime
Burn down Euroclub and withold all the presspacks!
 
And we say Croon, Doom and Gloom all for us
We're used to coming last now, no need to cuss
And we say Croon, Doom and Gloom is all to blame
The UK has come last, oh what a shame
 
And we say Croon, Doom, and Gloom all for us
We're used to coming last now, get on the bus
And we say Croon, Doom and Gloom is all to blame
The UK has come last, oh what a shame

And we say Croon, Doom and Gloom is all to blame
Just like in every England World Cup game!


 

baksemi4moar