I have a crayon
And you’ve got two
It makes me jealous
Here’s what I’ll do
I’ll take your crayon
Away from you
You have one crayon
Now I’ve got two

You have a new bike
But I’ve got two
And I‘ve got sneakers
Much more than you
And all my school grades
Are higher too
You’ve got a new bike
But I’ve got two

When you’re meeting girls or friends
I’ve already dined with them
When you bought a brand new car
I bought a yacht

When you drink tequila shots
I fill up my pool with scotch
No wonder my parties rock
But yours, they suck

You have a new wife
She’s quite a fool
While mine is pretty
And younger too
My secret lover
He beats yours too
You’ve got a new wife
But I’ve got two

So you’ve bought a Chow Chow dog
Well, I just got a tiger cub
Holiday in south of France?
I go to Guam
(where where?)
Your kids go to private schools
Mine run their own TV shows
I cannot compete with you
‘cause now I’ve won!

Yes, I’m a rich man
And you’re quite poor
It makes me feel great!
I’ve beaten you!
You lost your savings
Your business blew
Now I’m a rich man
And you are poor

I had a crayon
But you had two
It made me strive
To surpass you
Now as our lives end
I’m glad to know
That I am better
Better than you