6) Office colleague from hell

Based on Norway 2003 - I'm Not Afraid To Move On

comments all the time.
Gossips indiscreetly ‘bout friends of mine.
Now she seems determined to bore me
with her life-story and views asinine.

listening to her eating never-ending snacks.
It’s grossing me out!
Never could meet someone that gnaws through
more plates of biscuits and toast
in my life.

Yet I must work
with this colleague from hell.
It’s not fun!
Think I’ll call Personnel
to propose a new staff redundancy scheme.
Could she be paid to move on?

gonks and photo-frames,
carefully arranged,
fill her space and mine.
Trash she’s bought from vendors on e-Bay
while all her work stays undone.
It’s not right -

That I must work
with the colleague from hell.
She’s so dumb.
Scarcely half a brain cell
in her head. Instead
maybe nothing at all?
I hope and pray (I hope and pray)
Maybe one day she’ll be gone.

Oh the joy when I hear she’s off sick!
Time alone but, oh no -

She comes back
with a story to tell.
Colleagues fuss
though she’s perfectly well.
And I hope that how I’m perceived by them all
isn’t the way I view my
colleague from hell.