alc2013

 

(14) Eurovision 783 A.D.
Based on Greece 2013

 

In early middle ages,
They brought the best eight sages
To vote on songs composed by feudal lords.
But then they let the serfs vote
On songs that common folk wrote
Thus launching Europe into its decline…

To make the stadium so briskly,
They avoided things too risky:
Fancy amphitheaters, ceilings, or … seating.
Finally all built, but pity:
Black Plague had wiped out the city.
Slaves were forced to pull the stage to Saxony.

ESC, ESC, seven eighty-three
ESC, ESC, seven eighty-three
ESC, ESC, seven eighty-three
Seven eighty-three
Seven eighty-three

Host was chosen by a body
Of Viking Illuminati.
Need someone to read the cue-cards… in Latin.
Dressed in chainmail by d’Armani,
Ruler of the Franks, King Charley!
Told, “Begin the jokes then introduce the stars.”
(“Which stars?”)
“These stars!”

The first song sounded vulgar
Sung by a naked Bulgar
Barbarians from Magyar were enraged.
Then after some repenting
And hooded monks plainchanting
Kievan Rus’ wild dancing broke the stage.

By asking Allah’s blessing
And frequent SMS*ing,
Muhammed took the title on that day.
But next year, votes from neighbors
And “help” from the Crusaders,
Brought winner Diggileus Diggilæ.

(Lute-and-sackbut interlude)

Though at first a nice occasion,
It destroyed civilization.
Eurovision sat for ages… on the shelf.
But like the city of Rome was,
It was unearthed by the homos.
The rest as they say is ancient history!

ESC, ESC, seven eighty-three
ESC, ESC, seven eighty-three
ESC, ESC, seven eighty-three
Seven eighty-three
Seven eighty-three

ESC, ESC, seven eighty-three
ESC, ESC, seven eighty-three
ESC, ESC, seven eighty-three
Seven eighty-three
Ancient history!

*Slow messenger service

 

 

 

 

 

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